G.S.O.H

 

GSOH noun n

Definition : written abbreviation for good sense of humour: used in newspapers and magazine advertisements by people looking for a new friend or sexual partner

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/gsoh

 

 

I have always considered myself to have a good sense of humour. Actually if I am completely honest, maybe it is a little bit left of field and when my giggles become uncontrollable I tend to hide. However this week has tested me a little.

 

Humour can be very subjective. Add in the written sort and any mischief from the media and it can become tricky. Jonathan Swift found this in 1729 when he published his satirical pamphlet A Modest Proposal . Originally headed

 

A Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People From Being a Burden to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Publick 

 

it was intended to shock those outside Ireland, by use of the Juvenalian Satirical essay style, into an awareness of the terrible living conditions of the poor in Ireland at the time. Yet there are still to this day those who upon reading it for the first time take it at face value and believe that Swift really meant that the poor should practise cannibalism! And in places on the world wide web the odd out of context quote from the pamphlet can be found to prove this. Something which I find rather funny.

 

Earlier this week there was rather a kerfuffle when the media became aware of a lecture given by the novelist Hilary Mantel some time ago. This lecture - it is really necessary to read the whole thing - was published in the London Review of Books and Mantel - a historian as well as a novelist - discusses how the public have perceived Royalty, and perhaps more importantly been led to perceive Royalty since the Middle Ages. And inevitably present day Royals, in the person of the Duchess of Cambridge, became part of the discussion. 

 

So this meant that present day media - also part of Mantel's discussion - found a nice 'quote' to take out of context and slammed the author for her 'spitefulness' against the Duchess. Even David Cameron and Ed Milliband commented, proving that their advisors hadn't read the whole piece either. My sense of humour was sadly lacking as I found nothing funny in this mass attack on a stimulating lecture by a good writer. GSOH bypass on my part, obviously.

 

But the same media, a couple of days later presented another Royal, praising his sense of humour. Yes dear old Prince Phillip. Who made a 'joke' to a Filipino nurse at a hospital he was visiting that her county 'must be half empty – you're all here running the NHS'. I found this unfunny and racist. GSOH bypass again and it was suggested on facebook that I didn't have a sense of humour when I commented in answer to someone else thus.

 

So it seems as if the World has Turned Upside Down, humour-wise anyway. That phrase is from a Civil War ballad. Which included Royalty in a big way too.

And now for the only joke I can ever remember: What do you call three holes in the ground? Well, well, well. Photo courtesy of Is sense of humour quantifiable? http://sciencefocus.com/qa/sense-humour-quantifiable%E2%80%A8

 

 

 

 

 

 

Its the Same with Capitalism All Over

 

 

Its the same with Capitalism all over
Its the Poor what gets the blame......
Its the Rich what gets the profit
 Its always the c****** same

[with apologies to the old music hall song]

 

 

I am feeling pretty annoyed actually. I am having trouble dredging up my sense of humour. Normally I can laugh even at my political opponents and their weird, not to say mad, ideas. But this weekend it seems as if there has been a united front to blame the poor [aka working classes, unemployed, benefit claimants and disabled]

 

Purveyors of spin seem to have been working flat out. We had the head of Iceland blaming schools, hospitals etc demands for cheap meals for the use of horsemeat in their economy meals [see photo and link above, thank you to Politics UK facebook page for this] [I seem to remember that such institutions are mandated by government to tender for cheapest prices. A discussion for another day, obviously]

 

Iain Duncan-Smith appearing on the Andrew Marr show yesterday changed a discussion on whether or not Job seekers 'forced' to work for nothing but their job seekers allowance in various 'work experience' placements should in fact receive more than the job seeker allowance into a discussion on whether Graduates feel that working in a supermarket stacking shelves is beneath them. It follows a High Court ruling on the case of Cait Reilly. Anyone following the case of Cait Reilly will know that was not the argument and the link in this paragraph leads to info for those who have not followed it. But Duncan-Smith was neatly attempting to deflect attention from the ruling of the High Court Judge and the thinking behind the whole 'work experience' issue.

 

Boris Johnson decided to weigh in with a plea for those in the underprivileged class who may be in line for paying mansion tax. In his column in The Telegraph last week, he described the tax as 'nihilistic class war' and said it would prevent these poor home owners from carrying out necessary repairs thus:

 

If you see one of those damp patches appear on the ceiling – about the size and colour of a poppadom – you should just lie back and watch it grow. If the floorboards yawn open, just cover the gap with cardboard. Never mind the state of the downstairs lavatory. A faint aroma of ammonia never hurt anyone. Drip from the ceiling? Shove a bucket under it.
 

Rather an insult to other London citizens who are living in less sumptous properties or worrying about being hit with the bedroom tax. [Surely that is more a case for 'nihilistic class war? And isn't 'nihilist class' an oxymoron?] And whilst we are on the subject of bedroom tax, if one is living in an overcrowded property, could one claim a rebate of rent, a sort of anti-bedroom tax? Just wondering.

 

BTW the last line of the bowdlerised verse at the head of the blog has a word beginning with 'c' which has been censored. If you watch the wonderful Stella  with Ruth Jones on Sky TV, it is Rhiannon's favourite word!

 

Bad mood expunged. Now to do some c***ing housework.

Richard the Third or why I won't curtsey to the Royal Family

Our house has 'gone Richard the Third mad'. I admit to my geekiness and my countdown on Monday morning until the time when the results of the tests on the skeleton discovered in the car park in    Leicester would be announced was really quite sad. But when I posted about this on Facebook I was gratified to find that a great many others were joining me in my geekiness and were equally excited.

Even Other Half and his comrades who were at Transport House on Monday were apparently checking their 'phones every few minutes to find out the latest news.

So given that we all like and mystery and a solution, why all the excitement? Well a 500 year old gap between mystery and solution of the question 'Was Richard really a hunchback?' is obviously a starter although the far more important 'Did he really kill/order the murder of the 'little princes'?' obviously cannot be solved via the discovery of his skeleton and until the invention of a time travel machine I don't suppose it ever will. But for me, I think the discovery signifies more than that.

Go back nearly 450 years and what did Kingship really mean? It meant that the strongest in battle achieved the crown, basically. OK, so there had to be the implied inheritance issues that B descended from A, or A's father or whomever - but when the cards were down it became a question of who could get the most followers on their side [sounds a bit like the battle for a political party leadership today, doesn't it]

And on the inheritance issue - well legitimaticy and kinship needn't stand in one's way. Richard the third wanted to succeed to the throne of his brother Edward the Fourth on his death, he didn't let obstacles like their brothers and sisters born in between them stand in their way. No - he just declared them illegitimate - thus accusing his mother as being serially unfaithful to their father [although funnily enough  true to their father when Richard - the youngest of the family - was conceived] And the fact that Edward the Fourth had children to suceed him didn't deter Richard either. He just declared the marriage between Edward and the children's mother invalid - thus the children became illegitimate too and fortuitously the new heir was Richard.

The boys were probably murdered just to make sure that support could not be raised in their names and the discovery of two skeletons of young boys in the Tower of London in 1674 seems to confirm this.

Richard was King for two years before being killed at Bosworth Field in 1485 and Henry the Seventh aceeding to the throne and founding the Tudor dynasty.

Perhaps this very potted version of the way we have planted the seeds of our present royal family tree explains why I don't actually subscribe to the whole 'Aren't they wonderful' point of view. Simply because someone managed to raise more followers than someone else and was thus able to kill that someone else and declare himself king [Henry the Seventh] doesn't make him a God inspired better than the common man type of bloke. It actually just makes him a bit like the type of man who ruled the East End in the 1950s and 1960s. [If you tell anyone I said that I could end up in the Tower of London. So be careful] And his descendants, although very rich and having interesting ancestors - should we have to curtsey to them? I think not.

And it also doesn't explain why I was so excited on Monday morning. Maybe because I love mysteries and history. Or just because I am truly a geek. You decide. Meanwhile I will be watching Shakespeare's Richard the Third and reading Josephine Tey's The Daughter of Time  Whatever the rights and wrongs of Richard the Third, he inspired some great literature and non-fiction books!

This blog is dedicated to Dick, who was the first one to crack the Richard the Third rhyming slang joke.....

Above: The earliest surviving portrait of Richard (c. 1520, after a lost original), formerly belonging to the Paston family  (Society of Antiquaries, London)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Richard_III_earliest_surviving_portrait.jpg

Changing face of the High Street?

A 'commentator' on a radio news programme this morning 'commentating' on the apparent demise of 'Blockbuster' stores suggested that the fact that three* 'High Street Stores' have been forced to close in the past week - with the cost of thousands of jobs - is not really that much of a problem. It just means - apparently - that we will now have different shops in our High Streets - and if these shops are of the pound shop varieties or similar, well that's OK because they will still provide jobs.

Sadly this commentator did not point out that these newer stores usually employ part time workers, and on basic minimum wages. Indeed one of these type of stores was involved in a scandal not long ago by helping the government give work experience to the unemployed at no cost to the store chain and no wages to the unemployed.

High Streets/shopping areas change. Other Half and I were remiscing yesterday how when we first lived in our village [40+ years ago] the local store owner delivered groceries for free on a Friday evening via his bicycle with the big carrier thing on the front. Now I go online, order groceries from one of the large Superstores 3 or 4 miles away, pay the delivery charge and have the shopping delivered to a time of my choosing any day that I wish. Not really conducive to ecological harmony as the same lorries whip up and down our little road delivering to various houses on several times a week. But modern life and all that....

I am not against change. The function of High Street shops change with differing demands of residents and consumers. With the growth of out of town shopping malls grew predictions of the decline of local shops and of course this happened in many areas. And those who cannot or do not want to experience the Out of Town Shopping Mall inevitable suffer. Online shopping has of course taken up a lot of the slack especially now that so many 'online shops' offer free postage even for small purchases. [Apparently 'free' - we all appreciate that the postage is factored into the overheads when prices are set, don't we?]

But here's the rub. We are hearing that large online retailers like Amazon who are not paying income tax in the way that they morally should are probably responsible for the demise of some of those High Street shops like HMV and Blockbuster. We should of course boycott such retailers. But when you live in a little village like mine which has never had a book shop, record shop, don't drive and - to be honest - are a bit lazy, what is easier than clicking on 'buy it now' on the friendly lap top? Especially when it will be popped through the letterbox in a day or two and due to the said tax paying proclivities of the retailer the item is a couple of pounds cheaper than an independent retailer would charge even supposing one could be found. And that is without paying car parking charges and fuel costs if Other Half takes me to the nearest town with a book/record shop - and that book/record shop has the book/record shop has the item in stock because they are struggling with stock because online retailers are undercutting them?

And because these big online retailers are not paying their fair share of taxes the government claim they cannot afford to pay  increased benefits to the unemployed which will now include those from the shops which have probably just closed due to the price cutting from the big online retailers......

Re-reading this, to quote a bit of Bob Dylan [on another subject, but any excuse after all]:
                         So now as I'm leavin'
                         I'm weary as Hell
                         The confusion I'm feelin'
                         Ain't no tongue can tell
                         The words fill my head
                         And fall to the floor**


And again, to quote a radio commentator this morning, about 17,000 jobs have been lost 'on the High Street' since Comet's went into receivership just before Christmas. If this had been from a factory closure there would have been far more 'fuss' about it. Please let us all protest about so many lost jobs.


* Jessops, HMV, Blockbuster


** With God On Our Side


Postcard of Eltham High Street c1910 above published courtesy of http://www.ideal-homes.org.uk/greenwich/assets/galleries/eltham/high-street-1910 http://www.ideal-homes.org.uk/greenwich/assets/galleries/eltham/high-street-1910

It's only words.......*

Words have always been important, of course. But with the rise of social networking and blogging perhaps the power of 'written words' in the 21st century has re-gained a prominence that has not occured since the rise of newcasting and documentary programmes in audio/visual media.

Newspapers now also have an online presence. They get two 'goes' at getting their stories across to those of the public who have access to the world wide web. An overheard comment about, f'r instance, a story in The Sun can send one scurrying to its' url. [Actually that happened this morning. I would never buy that paper but heard on the news that they feel mandated - tongue in cheek - to reply to the President of Argentina's letter which appeared in the Guardian and Independent yesterday. But I digress]

However the potentional to misuse words within the social networks is immense. Bullying becomes easy - and not just between teenagers. Discussions can turn into slanging matches and there are several markers to watch out for:
1. But - What I have just said was reasonable, now I am going to say something really nasty/racist/sexist , which is what I really think.
2. No offence intended - I can now be as offensive as I like because I have said I don't mean it but I really do.
3. Don't get me wrong but - Both of the above, really.
4. I am only telling you for your own good - Because I have a different opinion to you, you are WRONG.
5. Making an insulting comment humourous^ does not lessen its' potential to hurt [see^ below]

But bullying seems to be invading our society, sadly. David Cameron is only too good at it. Listen to him [yes I know it is hard] in Prime Minister's Questiontime. When he is answering something he does not like, a hectoring tone enters his voice and if he can slip in a pejorative comment about his questioner/the question subject he will. Other politicians are guilty of this too.

Face to face discussions all too readily descend into slanging matches. Watch Newsnight or Questiontime, listen to Any Questions or a 'phone in radio programme. Where are those debating skills of which we used to be so proud? Some individuals think they can deliver a really cutting comment to another and laugh, thus 'easing' the pain they have just inflicted. Well it doesn't, actually.

Cabinet ministers deliver bullying speeches - by suggesting that many benefit claimaints do not deserve their welfare benefits or are lazy etc. I suspect that many elderly people felt guilty at taking the measly amount that is paid out as the heating allowance [cut from what it was a couple of years ago btw] after all the media attention given to various [better off] elderly people [celebrities mostly] and government spokespeople were stating publicly that many pensioners did not need the payment. Forget the years that many of us have paid tax to receive these 'benefits'. Change the word to 'entitlements' and see the perspective change. And 'better off pensioners' of course pay tax and if the automatic 'entitlements' are included as taxable income...... work it out George Osbourne. Oh sorry, perhaps you can't?^ [See how easy it is to make a nasty, bullying quip?]

Please, let us start this New Year by being kinder to one and other. Bullying is too easy to do and hard from which to recover.

Wishing you all a Peaceful and Joyous 2013.





* Apologies to the Bee Gees

The picture above is of a poster for the 2010 film The Social Network

Cool Yule

Life in the Elizannie/Other Half household pre/during/after the Yuletide festivities:


Preparations:
My self imposed deadlines which mostly didn't happen, regarding presents/decorations to make; letters/emails/tweets to write; 'phone calls/visits to make. Luckily,whether through age, disinterest or wisdom I don't worry about cleaning the house from top to bottom before Christmas as I used to do in my younger years!


Had my Christmas hair cut last week. 'They' will make one take glasses off when cutting so didn't realise I was wearing my trendy sweatshirt with embroidered logo inside out, nor that 'they' had cut my hair shorter than I had imagined it would be [although I do like it] I had asked for a 'Bradley Wiggins' [a la the Sports Personality of the Year] hairstyle but luckily the hairdresser feminised it a bit. Other Half said that I am not safe to go out on my own but he had odd shoes on so I felt slightly superior.



Perhaps I rather go over the top with my 'A Christmas Carol' obsession [owning 50 film versions and countless print versions] One grandaughter was heard muttering in her sleep 'God Bless Us Everyone'.


Pre-Christmas Festivities:
This year the annual family Pantomime visit and the Church Christmas Carol Service fell on the same day. Different members of the family attending one or both. Luckily no-one got confused and shouted out 'he's behind you' in the wrong place. In the Carol Service Youngest Grandson performed a lovely solo although he had to stand in front of the dias as it is higher than him. Youngest Grandaughter [20 months old] did lead the dancing in the aisle during the last carol ['lead' is a little bit of an exaggeration as she was the only one doing it. But she did get a round of applause]


The Day:
We are lucky to have two Christmas Days as Eldest Grandson goes to his Mum on Christmas Eve evening so we have the first one with him on Christmas Eve. It has long been a custom to have everyone here for tea on that day. Youngest Daughters said she enjoyed that day best because when all the children arrived in the evening they are playing together and it is about family being happy together. The 'real' Christmas Day tends to be more selfish and 'look what I have got'. [Christmas Eve is fun but chaos and Other Half caught me putting the waste paper in the washing machine which shows how far I had lost touch with reality at that point - completely sober too - and when I took the washing out this morning it was to find there was still aluminium foil in there...]


Christmas Day itself is of course the usual celebration of greed and overspending although we do try to keep it simple and include stupid presents and also homemade and thoughtful things which are often more appreciated than the wildly expensive offerings.



Aftermath:
Just Other Half and I today so rather quiet. Well apart from Peter Gabriel and the new version War of the Worlds alternating in blaring out on the CD before they are added to the mp3 players. Grandparents and their toys.

 


Some family members went shopping mall visiting yesterday. As I managed to keep away from such places before the event I am even firmer about keeping away now. Online shopping is the way to go as much as possible although I realise that means the demise of local shops - but when one doesn't have many local shops it is a boon. Anyway we haven't so much money this year as Other Half hasn't worked this Christmas, so its a moot point!! We noticed a definite drop off in the receipt of Christmas cards and several only arrived after we had sent to them. So many people feeling the pinch and my charity donation is going to have to wait until after my next pension payment!!



However we did venture to the nearest small town to buy a few essentials and popped into the M & S food only to find that washing-up liquid was included in their sale. I have never bought that in a sale before and was disappointed to find that lavatory paper was not similary included.


 This bit of time between Christmas and New Year is often a 'taking stock time' both personally and nationally. We won't look at politics too hard just now but personally a few things occur.

Middle Son has had Guillaine Barre syndrome for a year now and is settling to think some of the feeling in his feet may never come back. Still we are thankful to still have him and as it started in mid-December last year he keeps comparing and feeling so much better! Additionally he is facing redundancy, should know mid-January and I think he is facing that with more equanimity than if he hadn't been ill. Silver linings and all that.

 Everyone have been nagging me to get 'something done' about my hearing [which has worsened considerably this year] Actually I don't think there is much that will be able to done about my hearing but will have it all looked at again just to pacify everyone else. Sometimes not hearing what is going on around oneself can be an advantage - not getting involved in disputes or giving opinions for examples - but missing out on jokes and the babies' little gems of words are depressing. Also others' looks of outrage when they think they are being ignored can be upsetting. I often feel like wearing a sign around my neck 'I cannot hear you - please be patient', but we do not live in a patient society and imperfection  and lesser ability than the 'norm' is taken as something of which to be ashamed- an attitude led by government unfortunately.[Little bit of politics creeping in there. Unavoidable really....]

Well, off to 'rip' my new CDs to my mp3 player. Whilst that is happening maybe I will be able to find several of the household necessities which I 'tidied away' last week.


Wishing all a Peaceful and Joyous New Year. And to the Coalition Government - may you find some kindness and commonsense amongst the New Year resolutions. [OK, more politics, but I am Elizannie] God Bless Us, Everyone xx       




Picture above is the Christmas Card Other Half had made for me, adapting a poster for the old Basil Rathbone film version of 'A Christmas Carol'. I seem to be playing the part of [Mrs] Scrooge and Other Half Marley.

When were we ever all in it together?

 

I will leave the commenting on the Autumn Statement to all those with better analytical powers than I [I rely on Paul Lewis to put me straight] But of course any change in the financial system in the country and the way that it is arranged and distributed between those who have and those who have not causes more far reaching discussions than just the monetary aspect.

So have we [citizens of this country] ever truly 'been in it together' - and what is this vaunted 'togetherness' anyway?

Look back over history, maybe only as far as the late 18th and 19th century, for examples of this 'togetherness'. What about the too many workers in the Industrial Revolution living in poor conditions around the mills, factories, foundries, mines and their employers living away from the areas in the better air and countryside? What about the agricultural workers thrown off the land they had worked for generations during the enclsures whilst the owners 'ploughed' greater profits into their own bank accounts. The Highland Clearances were another example of 'them and us' when 'them' did NOT want to be in it with 'us'. The Tolpuddle Martyrs were deported for Swearing an Oath which was very similar to that sworn by Freemasons yet none of the latter found themselves shackled and in a boat to Australia with the former.

In the twentieth century, are we thinking about the togetherness that sent ordinary, conscripted, working men who did not understand the reasons for the First World War into the hell of enemy fire at the front line whilst the Generals sat and planned those advances way behind the trenches? [Siegfried Sassoon  above wrote rather a good poem about this * below] And when the men who were lucky enough to return from that war needed jobs, decent homes to live in or care for their injuries did they get it in the same way that medals were handed out to those same Generals and Officers? The togetherness that meant hundreds of men and women from different parts of the UK in the 1930s found it necessary to band together and march to London to illustrate to the 'other half' of the country just how deep was the plight of the unemployed?

The twentieth century also saw a hope of 'togetherness' that was snatched away. Those  of us born after the second world war had the hope that we could become equal wherever we happened to be born - whether in a Castle or a Cottage. The introduction of the Welfare State, the National Health Service, Education that did not have to be paid for so that a child whose parents could not afford school fees could eventually get a university degree - it was a wonderful time to be young. We got our university degrees, we got good jobs and paid a lot of tax and National Insurance. Our old age was secure - we had the State Pension to which we could look forward, the company pension to which we had contributed [thus our life savings] and the National Health Service would mean that we would not finish our lives in the sort of pain and suffering and anxiety our grandparents had suffered. Of course there was still the inequality of those who started out with a lot more money than us - but so what, we would be OK.... and if we were unlucky enough to fall ill or unemployed, we had paid in all those years, that was what the tax and insurance was for, wasn't it?

Come forward into the 21st century and look at our present situation. University education is now so costly that many poorer students are deterred from even applying to university. The sort of interrogation [and I use that word in its true sense] that many have to undergo to receive disability payments is shaming in a so called civilised society. Whilst waiting for the decision to be reached if an individual is entitled to 'welfare' payments, many are quite literally going without food. Education and health provision can be better or worse according to the 'post code lottery' of where one happens to live - in other words richer areas fare better than poorer ones. Look at  the way the Remploy factories have been closed. [Minutes ago closure of the rest of the factories has been announced] Very many ordinary hard working individuals who have all their lives invested in either private or company pension schemes have in the past few years been defrauded when those schemes have failed for different reasons. [You can read about one here ] Those living on a State Pension are finding it increasingly difficult to manage - and yesterdays comments that those on welfare benefits should share in the hardships of the rest of the country and therefore not get much of an increase over the next three years has a very hollow ring.

Then look at this coalition government  with its millionaires and public school educated individuals. Can they really understand the problems  of those living on welfare benefits - of course not but the real question is do they want to? Are they interested and are they asking the right questions of those who know and can advise them? Do they care enough about the tax avoidance and evasion of big companies and richer individuals as much as they seem to fear that just possibily someone somewhere might be getting a pound or two more than they are entitled to on welfare payments? Because believe me, all those that I know who are on welfare benefits have a hard enough job getting that to which they are entitled, with out any extras.

This is a miserable rant, I know. Anyone with a cheerful take on it all, please write on a Charity Christmas Card and post to keep the postmen and women in work.

*The General

‘Good-morning; good-morning!’ the General said
When we met him last week on our way to the line.
Now the soldiers he smiled at are most of ’em dead,
And we’re cursing his staff for incompetent swine.
‘He’s a cheery old card,’ grunted Harry to Jack
As they slogged up to Arras with rifle and pack.

. . . .
But he did for them both by his plan of attack.

Siegfried Sassoon